I’ve been telling Ajeesh about how, in my underwater rugby-playing youth, the nurses at the blood donation ward would stare in horror, when I came to give blood, at the bruises on my upper arms caused by my rather violent hobby, and ask if by any chance I was a victim of domestic violence. Ajeesh seemed to find this quite funny, giggling happily as he slapped my arms. The idea with nerve desensitization is to cause pain to the soft tissue along a nerve, in this case the ulnar nerve, thus desensitizing it. Unfortunately the only effect so far is to cause giant bruises. Personally I’m inclined to think bruising is to be expected when slapping the arm fairly vigorously for 5-10 minutes, but the doctor, at my consultation on Friday, looked a bit horrified and didn’t seem to think it was normal at all. Hence I am to have blood tests in case I have other, unrelated, medical problems. I am reminded of Mr Burns in the Simpsons episode where he goes to the world’s most expensive clinic to have his health checked, and it turns out he’s suffering from several fatal diseases at once, all of which cancel each other out, rendering him perfectly healthy.
I think my bruises are pretty cool and have been showing them off to everyone. Unfortunately when I showed them to Manjula, she was deeply shocked and had tears in her eyes, and then I felt guilty for being so insensitive! But Manjula says both she and her mum are praying for my arms, which is very nice of them!
I continue my wildlife-watching, Rapunzel-style through the window. I was very excited when I spotted a large, grey, weasel-type creature skulking around in the bushes outside, and Manjula told me it was a mongoose! (I now feel like a top wildlife observer, like David Attenborough – am expecting a knighthood in the post any day!) If I didn’t suspect it of having rabies I’d go out and play with it and feed it grapes. I’ve been trying to tempt the birds to perch on my window-sill by leaving grapes on it, but they’re not interested, and there are now eight sun-dried raisins slowly decaying outside my window. There are some nice black-and-white birds, some rather comical tiny green ones, and stupid-looking large white ones, who follow the cows around. One of the cows has a tiny baby calf which is absolutely adorable, hopping around on unsteady legs!
There are large birds of prey circling around, no doubt searching for weak-looking patients. Jeshma says they’re eagles, and she may well be right. My ornithological knowledge is very slight, and for all I know they might be hawks, sparrows, or tits, but they are certainly enormous. If they ever decide they fancy raisins for lunch I’ll take a picture; I won’t, however, plague you with the numerous pictures of distant out-of-focus black specks that I have taken so far. To continue this thrilling list of Indian fauna, there are also giant butterflies (titilli in Hindi – yoga is most educational!) flapping around, and dragonflies.
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| Bird of prey, on the look-out for cripples |
I am now getting treatment from a nice lady called Jeena. She is normally in charge of the foreign patients, but she has been in Kerala opening a new clinic until now. Jeena likes cricket, wrestling and violent films. Bless her, she asked if I would like her to get me some beer! She also promised to get me a bus route guide so I can go on adventures! There’s a national park not too far away where I’d like to go, and take pictures of animals – perhaps elephants! (Elephants don’t have rabies, do they?)
I had a wonderful day on Wednesday – I had three desserts! There was rice pudding for lunch, then one of the Tiny Friendly Ladies knocked on my door in the afternoon to give me a piece of cake, and in the evening the lovely housekeeper made me fruit salad! (Actually I think she’s worried that I’m getting too thin, and is trying to restore me to a more traditional shape – I’ve been getting a hell of a lot of fruit salad lately!) I told Ajeesh of my delight at getting rice pudding, which you get in Sweden at Christmas, and he explained that it is because it is a dish from Kerala. Because Kerala is on the west coast, it is where all the missionaries and traders ended up and consequently, apparently, European dishes originating in India are all from Kerala! (At least according to Ajeesh who is, like half the staff at the clinic, from Kerala.) Also, Ajeesh said, because there are so many missionaries opening schools left, right and centre, Kerala has a literacy rate of 100 percent. This made me think of Bede, and made me very annoyed. If only the Anglo-Saxons had stayed heathen and illiterate! (Of course one could argue that they have, but that’s a topic for another day, and a different level of sobriety.)
Thank you, come again!
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